the other side

A recent experience of directing a drama with children opened up new perspectives to the mother and teacher in me. As I was pondering about the art of acting as someone in a story, it dawned upon me that children are born actors. Look around to see how natural it is for a young child to imitate others all the time, so well without any inhibition or filter. A child naturally lives in the other to understand what it means to be the other - it is profound learning, and hard work that they are doing. It is only later, through the years of growing up, we gain the ability to look at others as someone else from the self. Hence we grow the ability to empathise, that we can transform ourselves to feel what it means to be in others shoes and come back to the self - much like playing a role in a drama. As we grow, we invite many roles into our lives (father, mother, brother, son, aunt etc.) and juggle between acting in different roles. We act so well that we actually live in that role and ...

Last Saturday morning talk with parents was uplifting and I could visualise children growing deep in their connections. While we were discussing many things about how one could become more caring by being aware and more present, there was an interesting sharing by one of them. She said that how simple ideas are becoming revelations and it may appear to us that these ideas may or may not have a huge impact on life, given the broader perspective of how we all grew up. She expressed thanks to the current group of children, and that they are leading us to this state of enquiry. This was a thought-provoking share and thanks to her, it brought me back to my musings on why we do what we do today. I do not remember my mother or grandmother talking about showing care for my body or any of my cousins or to my own child. They simply did what they had to do. A daily ritual of Abhyangana snana from birth to at least next one year (or more) was more of an understood rhythm. Nobody discussed tha...

Nothing is ever made to last forever, but we can make something better, extend its life, nourish it, nurture it and value it, so it is as good as lasting forever and as well becomes precious while it lasts. Isn't it? That saree, which was passed down from my grandmother is so precious. It is unique. I put an extra effort to keep it for longer. I wear it only on one of those rare occasions, rather the saree carries the definition on when it needs to be worn. I am mindful of how to clean it, fold it and place it in my wardrobe so it stays put well until the next time I get an opportunity to be with it. Same is the case with our own bodies. Babies have such supple, glowing and healthy looking skin. It gets wrinkled as we progress into old age. However we take all the steps to safeguard it and nourish it in every way possible. As my grandmother's saree and my own body is very unique, it comes naturally to me to care for them in a special way. It remains in my awareness that they...

What is your idea of a profound moment? Is it that moment, when something happens out of your control and yet leaves a great impact? Is it when you get your first pay cheque or get married or give birth to your baby? Why should we even look forward to one such moment? Profound moments are important in a way. Especially, when such a moment helps you to become a better individual, where you make choices with good intentions and better clarity. However if we leave them to circumstances, that we think should happen according to our expectations or societal norms, we might end up waiting too longer. Even worse, we end up being less content as the outcomes are seldom in our control! During my early school days, there was no television at our home. I used to go to my neighbor's place to watch TV once a week, and to be precise, it was to watch Mahabharata. My dad had all the time for me on weekends when he used to sit in one position for me, so I can play hair stylist and experiment w...

Once upon a time, my major thoughts were about potty! I know it sounds crazy but any parent with a toddler would understand, trust me, really! I used to fidget about how to get this boy potty trained! What is the rush for? I wonder how we tend to get unnecessarily worked up about the child's current stage and do not patiently wait for his age to take over certain developmental milestones? Why are we always in a hurry and why do we keep saying, " Hurry up, it's getting late! ". If you observe closely, sometimes we get late because of adults and not kids and yet kids do not complain. As adults it is our responsibility to plan and provide the environment in such a manner that things tend to go smoothly and avoid any disappointments of getting late or missing something. Why should a child hurry all the time? Also, have we questioned ourselves what great harm it can cause if we do not say, " hurry up! "? One day the boy was clearly getting late to school...

What is automation? Does it mean killing the beauty of human nuances in a handicraft? Or does it mean changing the face of how we manufacture many things? What is automation, really? When you type the words, ' what is automation? ' and search online, the results include worlds apart meanings, such as - " the use or introduction of automatic equipment in a manufacturing or other process or facility"  and " unemployment due to the spread of automation. " An engineer might prefer the former answer, while a sculptor might favor  the latter! Let's ponder a bit... What is automation to an engineer could be completely different from, what is automation to a sculptor! Although the answers might turn out to be exact opposites, may be there is a need to refine our question from ' what is automation? ' to ' What is automation with respect to basic necessities of life? ' That brings us to the need of addressing  what is automation as per t...

I admit that I am a huge fan of bollywood music. And when I am in the mood for dancing, the more noisier the music gets, the better! This has been one of my struggles to strike a balance between my enjoyment and not exposing my child to age inappropriate music. He is five now. Bollywood and me There was a time when he used to watch bollywood songs along with me on TV! There I confessed! Sigh! So much for being a Waldorf parent! However, this episode was few years ago and I am happy to say - now I am out of that habit for good. It was not easy for me but yes I needed some discipline to not watch it in front of the kid. Anyway, we can always catch these amusing things when the child is not around. Once I was out of that habit, I joined bollywood dance classes. Come on, from somewhere I needed to get my dose of dancing for that kind of music! Added benefit being the start of a fitness routine, which I badly needed. Now, the next part was that I had to take him along. Again, he used ...

As part of slow parenting, we arrived at a decision to not buy many toys for our child. Now one might ask - but of course  this is the age to play with toys. If not now then are they going to play with them during their 30s or what? Of course  not! There is a subtle difference here - we only strive to not buy toys, but we don't strive to stop the play. Here is why! When outings used to bother me! There was a point when I used to dread the thought of taking my child for an outing. But children need these little breaks from the usual routine. Firstly, I will be stuck with where to take my child. Malls are out of question. Being minimalists, we reduced a lot of shopping too. All our fruits, veggies and grocery mostly come from online stores as I order organic stuff and it is convenient.  Well, the public gardens and parks looked like better options. The scene at most parks is the same - a roadside vendor with hundreds of plastic stuff for kids on his cart. They look ...

Hey there! It has been such a long time I wrote here and it feels so good to be back. While the look and feel and reach of blogs have been transformed while I was away, one thing remained constant and that is content. End of the day, we all read when the content appeals to us, when the content stays with us, keep popping out of our minds when we are busy with something else, when it resonates with our persona and current phase of life. If you are a parent and dealing with new parenting trials every day then yes my thoughts resonate very much with you - our content is the same :) Let me make you feel jealous/happy for a bit now! Recently, during many interactions I was quoted as a 'lucky parent' and I felt the need to write why it is not so on most occasions. Sooner, you will know why. My child is 5 years now and below are certain things that happen as a rhythm and part of his lifestyle. 1. He is the first one to wake up at home by himself, early in the morning, around 6-...

Right now our (me and the hubby) world revolves around this little man, who is busy himself and keeps us on our toes as well! Darling kiddo is 3.8 years now and is the most happening thing at home. Here's presenting a little peek into his illustrious life :) He managed to dug out a chocolate lying somewhere in the fridge and was asking me to open it for him. I said - you can have it tomorrow morning in the car when we will go on a ride to your grandma's place . He just listened to me and went on to do something still holding the chocolate in his tiny hand. I was smiling to myself that I handled the situation smartly by not saying no directly, to which he would throw a tantrum otherwise! After a while he was asking me to open the balcony door to throw the chocolate wrapper in the bin. I was not pleased that he finished the chocolate and asked him why did he eat it? He said - Mumma I already ate it while going to grandma's place in the car tomorrow!!!! # AajKalKeBacche! ...

To the two most amazing fathers I have known so far! To the father who thinks beyond money who thinks daughters are no less to sons who thinks the best thing he could give his daughters is their education who never thinks that cooking is only a woman's job and still cooks at home who prepares much loved home-made pickle for her daughter instead of getting the store brought one who doesn't care what others think when he is doing the right thing who defied the societal rules and went out of his way just to give a beautiful life to his daughter in her rightful way! Happy Father's Day dear Dad! To the father who delivered his baby with the same (or may be more!) grit, passion and pain as his wife, excepting the physical pain and scars! who takes care of his kid also like a mother who never shows patriarchy who is never tired and always plays along with his child, almost like a sibling who never minded changing diapers, cleaning bum or giving bath to his baby wh...

Love knows no boundaries, love is unconditional, love has no rules and love is blind! Ah, so true and so false! To love and to be loved is such an amazingly special feeling that I wish everyone to go through in their lives. But don't be bogged down by unnecessary expectations and mindless imagination! When you start picturing yourself this way, let me tell you my friend, it is only going to make you taste the sourness of the relationship. The initial days of any relationship is only colorful and sweet and awesome and wonderful and all the other ear-soothing adjectives! It is hard and you would not be willing to think beyond rationales at this stage, even though the relationship demands otherwise impossible things. By the time you realize the loop you are in, you will be labelled as the head strong arrogant person who could not have a softer heart to say yes for those unreasonable things which slowly start making sense to you. The rhymes that my kid listens to are ringing in my...

This post is being written for the #MomsforaBetterWorld Project by women's web The water will be very cold, I don’t think I can spare so much time, I might get a bad tan, anyway how much can I learn in few months and worse thing, I might just drown! Uh-oh! Life is complicated; this is not going to happen with me! My body and mind just start giving me all the wrong and improper reasons for not learning the things which I consider essential, swimming-in this case. And this is the nth time I am postponing the thought of learning how to drive, irrespective of the fact that I learnt and drove a few times and left it long back. But I still feel the need for it! This is how most of us feel in different situations. While the problems look miniscule, overcoming them can become a Herculean task.  The most basic skills of life, which I have figured out over the years, that one ought to learn are – basic cooking, basic self-defense, basic driving, basic swimming and a passi...